Part 1: WTF IS GOING ON HERE?
Civilization
is broken.
It
served its purpose and got us out of the trees, damp caves, and wandering
tribes but now it appears to be aimed at returning us to a disjointed and
aimless hardscrabble existence.
A
global situation has arisen where my very existence is dire peril, and do to
the structure of this society, its priorities, and its values I am helpless to
intervene on my behalf. My great dilemma
is that I am stuck at a period of time when my species is choosing to ignore
what little it understands about the workings of the universe. A premium has
been placed on immediate and fleeting forms of self-gratification, with no
legitimate nor comprehensive concern for much beyond the current day’s horizon
line to the great detriment of all life on Earth.
It would seem
that nothing I could do would change anything in a productive manner. Sure I
could try and influence humanity and steer it towards making positive changes,
but I’ve never been able to satisfyingly “get through to” more than five or six
people over the past fifteen years. I don’t plan to fool myself with delusions
of grandeur that I will ever reach a larger audience who will not only
understand but who will also partake in some meaningful action to the same tune
as my message.
Conversely, I
could attempt to impact humanity in a “negative” manner in order to try and
save the rest of life on Earth from the self-and-all-devouring scourge that is
the human race. Theoretically this could be achieved via extreme eco-terrorism
such as attempting to cover Antarctic ice with dark soil with the intent to
accelerate melting in order to flood coastal cities, or detonate a nuclear
device at the upriver base of any one of the world’s great damns such as the Aswan, Atatürk Dam, Three Gorges, Sanmenxia, or Grand Coulie, creating a wall of
radioactive water that could flatten any communities downstream. In this way
there is nothing short of targeting and reducing the human race and all of its
industries that could potentially starve off the likes of an ecological
disaster as dramatic as the Crimean Extinction…
I am a refugee from that crisis that is humanity. Along the years I have endeavored in
schools, locations, employments, relationships, deviances, chemicals and the
arts. All these actions serve the common goal of relieving the debilitating
sensation of “I’m on the outside, looking in.”[i]
So, “Shall I begin like David Copperfield; I was born,
I grew up... or should I began with when I was born into darkness?”[ii]
That painful and degrading baptism consisting of the series of events in life
when one notices how in most institutions of civilization there is something
that just doesn’t add up. So to
mimic the path of insight traveling through memory, let’s do this like the plot
of a Tarantino flick or a tale tailored around time
travel that begins in the middle, then jumps around to piece together and
reveal a larger picture.
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